


The Good Place

by MerMagicAnaLily



Series: Andi Mack in Other Media [5]
Category: Andi Mack (TV)
Genre: Afterlife, Comedy, F/F, F/M, Humor, Light Angst, M/M, Tension, They’re all dead, but not sad, the good place AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-28
Updated: 2019-10-28
Packaged: 2021-01-05 19:55:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,559
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21214190
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MerMagicAnaLily/pseuds/MerMagicAnaLily
Summary: When T.J. Kippen finds himself in the afterlife, he's both relieved and surprised that he's made it into the Good Place. But it doesn't take long for T.J. to realize he's there by mistake. He hides in plain sight from the Good Place's architect, Amber, and her all-knowing assistant, Andi. His seemingly perfect neighbors, Buffy and Marty, and open-hearted soul mate, Cyrus, help him realize that it's never too late to change. With the help of his new friends -- and a few enemies -- T.J. becomes determined to shed his old way of life in hopes of discovering a new one in the afterlife.





	The Good Place

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks dumb-binch-juice for the prompt!

T.J. opened his eyes and saw himself in a brightly lit room. He saw himself on a couch and across from him in bright green letters on a white wall were the words ‘Welcome! Everything is Fine.’ He looked around when a blonde girl popped her head out from a door. “T.J.? We’re ready for you now, come on in.”

He nodded and got up, following her in the room and sitting on the armchair across from the big desk she sat at. “So...T. J. Kippen, how are you feeling?”

“I’m good,” he said. “Feeling fine. Oh, also, where am I?”

“Oh yes, that,” she said. “Well, T.J. Kippen. You are dead. This is the afterlife.”

“That’s weird...I don’t remember dying,” he said puzzled. 

“Yes well, when people have traumatic deaths, as a courtesy, we erase the memory of how they died. Do you really want to know how you died?”

“I’m kind of scared to say yes, but I’ll be more curious if I don’t…”

“Well, you died when you dropped a bottle of tequila in a supermarket parking lot, and when you bent down to pick it up, a giant corralled group of supermarket carts broke free and rammed you into a truck with an ad for a local Larry the Cable Guy comedy show.”

“Wow...that’s…” T.J. winced. “That’s a humiliating death.”

“Yeah...not your best,” Amber agreed. “But it happened, we made you forgot some of the more humiliating details, and here you are.”

“So...who got it right?” 

“Well, each religion got somewhere between two and three percent, no religion was totally right. However, in the early 2000s, there was this one guy who got together with some friends, got totally high on magic mushrooms, and then, this guy, Steven Bowie Quinn, went on this twenty minute long rant and got 97% of it correct! It was amazing. All of us over here were absolutely freaking out...that’s him there,” she pointed at a painting of a seventeen year old looking up wisely. “We cannot wait to meet him when he gets here.”

“So what is here? Am I…?” He pointed up. “Or...?” He winced and pointed down. 

“Oh, oh you see, we don’t have the traditional concept of Heaven and Hell that you grew up thinking of. You see, there is, however, a Good Place, and a Bad Place. T.J., you’re in the Good Place.”

T.J. smiled and let out an exhale of relief. The Good Place, he was okay. He was going to be okay for all of eternity. “So…am I about to piss off a whole lot of people down there if I ask if you’re God?”

“Ooh, God with a capital G is...difficult to say,” she said. “No, I’m an Architect, my name is Amber. Architects are more like...angels, maybe...let’s go with angels for now. Basically, I designed this neighborhood to be perfect for all of my residents, you included. You want to take a look around?”

“Sure,” he said, and he followed her when she got up and walked out of the office. “So...all of this...is the after life? These trees, the grass...all fourteen tater tot restaurants?”

“We determined tater tots to be the absolute perfect human food,” she said. “Perfectly crispy on the outside, just righteously warm and mushy on the inside, what’s not to love?” 

“I see...so...now what?”

“Now, I show you to your house,” she said, leading him out of the town center and towards the more residential area. “You see, every person here in the Good Place has a home tailored to their specific essences. And here is yours,” she stopped in front of a nice little one story house. 

“So...my essence means that I’ll enjoy this nice little cottage more than I would enjoy...that?” He pointed next to him to a Basketball arena with loud music coming from the inside and an announcer. 

“Don’t worry, you won’t be able to hear it at night,” she said, leading him in. The room was a muted orange color with several white canvases holding math equations. “As you can see, it’s decorated to your taste. Sunset orange walls, and since your secret love was incorporating math into your music, you have geometric proofs on your walls.”

“Wow...this really is amazing,” he said smiling. “It’s everything I love.”

“Oh! And here’s another cool edition. Here’s a tv that plays all of your best memories at your command!” She picked up the remote and a scene started playing of him picking up a guitar and starting to strum it in front of several children. “Oh, this is your first performance at the Catholic orphanage in Colombia…”

“Wow...this is-“

“Hello hello! Hope I’m not interrupting anything!” A boy knocked on the open door.

“Not at all! T.J.! I forgot to mention the best part about the Good Place!” Amber said, leading the other boy in. “You see, each person ever born on earth actually has a soulmate that they meet up here in the afterlife if they didn’t on Earth. Tobias Jonah Kippen, this is your soulmate, Cyrus Goodman!”

T.J.’s eyes widened. “Oh...wow...this is awesome! Bring it in man!” Cyrus giggled happily and hugged back. “Oh...should we...I mean…”

“Soulmate or not..I don’t know you Tobias Jonah,” Cyrus giggled uncomfortably, seeing T.J.’s wince. “You prefer T.J.?”

“Immensely,” he said. 

“Awww...the start of true love,” Amber squealed. “I’m going to prepare everything for the big presentation,” she said. “Feel free to get to know each other.” She left and Cyrus started going off. 

“Oh my god, I can’t believe it, okay...so you’re my soulmate...a little about me, I’m a documentary film director that brought mental health issues to light in impoverished countries and how some places still treated it as being possessed or cursed. Now...Amber told me you were a philanthropic musician that helped children overcome poor education through music?”

“Cyrus...you’re my soulmate, right?”

“Yes, According to Amber, and she did kind of get all of this ready for us.”

“So...I can tell you anything? And you promise not to tell anyone.”

“Of course!” He said. “I know how important trust is, and if you’re letting me in on a secret this early, it’s a great sign!”

“Okay...good. Because I’m not a philanthropic musician. I never helped children with their education, I have dyscalculia so I hate math, and the T.J. in my name does not stand for Tobias Jonah...I think they have the wrong guy.”

* * *

Cyrus Goodman thought he had a pretty traditional life. He grew up with four parents- two biological and two step-parents- he did well in high school and throughout college, made good friends, and generally tried to be a good person, and he thought he was. 

When he graduated with a major in film and two minors in psychology and philosophy, he decided that he was going to make documentaries on what was wrong in society and how to help people, and then he would donate all the profits to carefully researched charities regarding his subject. 

His one backfire was caring too much and over analyzing everything so that he didn’t mess up. He would research something for days when he really only needed a minute, he refused to go to a restaurant unless he knew the restaurant’s supplier, and the supplier’s supplier, and whether or not they produced food ethically, and he wouldn’t give his friends any firm advice until he researched it in three different locations and got the same result. 

He swore that a mosquito carrying malaria was going to do him in, or filming in too dangerous of an area and some warlord would do him in. He was extra cautious with both, always wearing bulletproof vests, backpacks, and even underwear (though he did not recommend wearing those, ever), and having at least seven different ways to ward off mosquitos. 

Who thought an asthma attack from eating a spicy dish would have done him in?

He was sad for his friends and family still alive, but then he saw his afterlife. It was so...picturesquely perfect, like an upgraded version of the little suburban neighborhood he grew up in, but actually perfect. No tests, no bad weather, and no homophobic bullies. And he wasn’t even there for a few days when Amber asked him to meet her at a little house in the afternoon. Who was he to say no to an actual angel...was she an angel? Or was she like...God? She was very vague about that part with him. 

Then she introduced him to what he thought was just about the most handsome boy to have ever lived or died. T.J. Kippen...Tobias Jonah, what a cute, unique name. He couldn’t wait to learn more about the musician who funded education. He did seem perfect...until….

“Okay...good. Because I’m not a philanthropic musician. I never helped children with their education, I have dyscalculia so I hate math, and the T.J. in my name does not stand for Tobias Jonah...I think they have the wrong guy.”

Cyrus just stared at him. He was the wrong guy? Cute guy was the wrong guy?! Was he in the wrong place even?! How is any of this possible? How is it possible?!

“How can that be possible?!” Cyrus asked, starting to pace. “You’re not this guy?” He pointed at the point-of-view footage playing on the magic tv. 

“Nope.”

“You didn’t play music to disadvantaged children?!”

“I played music...but I played piano...sometimes helping out my mom with piano lessons, but...not that.”

“And the math on the walls?!”

“Way off,” T.J. laughed. “I have dyscalculia. The walls look like that meme of a confused woman to me...which would be accurate to me, wouldn’t it?”

“Okay...Okay, okay. So...if that’s not you, then who are you?”

“My name is T.J. Real name...I really don’t want to say it…”

“Why not?”

“It’s embarrassing?”

“So embarrassing you’ll die?”

T.J. paused for a moment. “Fair point. Fine! It’s Thelonious Jagger. I’m named after two musicians and please don’t make fun of me, I just died today.”

“Why would I make fun of you, it’s a unique name. I like it...but enough about your name! Who are you?”

“I’m a guy from New Jersey who did a telemarketing job selling defective air conditioners to low income people…”

“I’m sorry, you’re a WHAT?!”

“The job market is really hard out there, and in my defense, I’m the best salesman in the company!”

“That’s worse! You see how that is worse, right?! Oh god I’m getting a migraine from this, I need to sit down with water,” he fell back on the couch and gripped his head. “So...you’re not Tobias Jonah Kippen…”

“Nope…”

“Does that mean you’re not even my soulmate?”

“I’m pretty sure only Amber knows the answer to that...or to anything…”

“Look, I probably don’t belong here compared to like...you, and maybe Gandhi…”

“Ghandi was not as great as you think.”

“Oh god I’m worse than Gandhi...that was already given. If Gandhi isn’t up here...I mean...wait...let’s be realistic, right, because...if this...this is heaven, and I mean, it’s not the choir of angels we were promised back on earth, right?”

“I’m Jewish, I already wasn’t promised that.”

“Okay...I did not know that, but I’m talking Catholic heaven, right?” Cyrus raised an eyebrow. “Okay, well, this isn’t catholic heaven, we don’t have wings and halos, and my childhood cat is nowhere to be found.”

“Oh, well, most people get told early on about how dogs go to The Good Place and cats go to The Bad Place.”

“Beebs in hell?” T.J. pouted. “Wait...how do you know that?”

“Oh! Amber probably got distracted to introduce you to Andi. Andi?!”

A woman appeared behind T.J. “Yes?”

“Holy Mother forking shirtballs...shirt balls...why can’t I say shirt balls?”

“Cursing isn’t’ allowed in The Good Place,” Andi said. “And because I can tell that your most likely question is ‘who am I’ or ‘what am I,’ my name is Andi, and I’m your helper here in The Good Place. Call my name and ask a question or ask for something, and I have literally the entire universe at my disposal.”

“Okay, um...Andi, can you tell me exactly how the afterlife works?” T.J. asked. 

“Simple question to start on, it seems.”

“Okay, well,” Andi started. “Throughout your lifetime on earth, every single one of your actions was given a positive or negative point value, and only the best of the best, so the highest points, make it into the Good Place. So the top ten or fifteen percent, give or take.”

“Even with dyscalculia, I know things aren’t looking good...wait, Janet, is everything I say to you confidential or can Amber access it?” 

“Everything is one hundred percent confidential and private, and I’m not allowed to disclose this information with anyone, including Amber. Now, what kind of pornography are you looking for?”

“What?! No! No porn! Only answers!” He said grumbling. “Okay, well...how bad can the Bad Place really be?”

“Well, I’m not allowed to take you there or show you any images, but I am allowed to play you a ten second audio clip.”

“Alright, let’s hear it,” T.J. said, exchanging a glance with Cyrus. With a smile on her face, Andi played a clip of the most horrible screaming imaginable. Several people were in absolute anguish, begging to be killed again. By the time the screaming was over, T.J. looked down and saw that he was holding hands with Cyrus. Awkwardly, they cleared their throats and let go. “So…the Bad Place is bad ...very very bad….”

“Well, selling broken air conditioners to low income people in New Jersey is probably not the best...yeah...you probably are not in the top fifteen percent of good people on Earth.”

“Yeah but I wasn't ...bad, you know? I never killed anyone or stuff like that. I was a Medium person. There should be a Medium Place!” 

“Well there isn’t…”

“Well, I can’t go down there!” T.J. paced a little. “Wait...what if...what if I become good enough for the Good Place?”

“What do you mean?”

“You’re like a good person Cyrus Goldberg-“

“Goodman.”

“Right, Goodman. Anyways, you’re like...the best person, right? Well, could you teach me how to be a good person?” 

“Um...okay...well…” he thought about it. “Part of me wonders if the right thing is turning you in because you’re probably taking the place of the real Tobias Jonah Kippen...if he even exists...but then to condemn you to what I just listened to for being an average, slightly jerk-y dude?” 

“Come on, Cyrus! Please! I need your help.”

“I won’t turn you in, yet,” he said. “But I haven’t made a decision yet. Another resident, Buffy, and her soulmate Kevin are hosting a party all the neighborhood is going to. There’s a suit in your closet. I’ll meet you back here in an hour.”

**Author's Note:**

> If you guys like this, please comment!!! I cannot stress it enough! COMMENT!!! I READ THEM ALL!!! PLEASE!!!!!


End file.
